Desperately Avoiding Housework

This blog is closed.

2010-05-10T13:59:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time it seemed like a good idea.

And then it just became too much to keep up with.

So I'm a one blog kind of girl again. Click here to see it.

Creative Crop

2009-03-09T09:00:00.001-07:00

I've never participated but this week I'm entering this photo in the I Heart Faces photo fun challenge.

This was the before - Bad Baby throwing a fit and refusing to have his picture taken.

So I cropped that little booger right out! Ha!

Baby time!

2009-03-05T21:22:00.000-08:00

Pictures of my friend Jessica's baby. He's just a beautiful little angel and so good too! Thanks Jess for letting me take pictures of your little guy and for spending time with me!

Dancing machine.

2009-01-29T14:35:00.001-08:00

He was standing on the sofa table behind the couch, dancing his little heart out with The Backyardigans. TOO CUTE!

Kid pics

2009-01-13T13:53:00.000-08:00

We did some pictures over the weekend and they had so much fun!

Before it turned ugly at the very end, we got some good shots.

I'll have more on my "real blog" in the next day or so.

More practicing...

2009-01-07T12:09:00.000-08:00

This is driving me batty.

I will conquer this camera!

Oh yeah, guess who can dress himself now? A shirt, pajama bottom shorts, socks, and Spiderman crocs.

A Flock of Seagulls called...

2009-01-06T10:11:00.000-08:00

They want their hair back.

(I have got to figure out what's going on with my camera settings!)

The post I swore I'd never write.

2009-01-03T09:55:00.000-08:00

I really find some blog posts disgusting and inappropriate for the masses to read.

But I'm pretty sure only one or two people read this blog and I just need to let it out. Errr, that might be the wrong choice of words.

See, my kids seem to have problems keeping things in. Things that should stay inside. Literally, their bodies.

The Girl has severe reflux and tends to puke in her sleep. All over everything.
Which results in me getting up at 4 am to wash sheets, mop floors, give her a shower, etc.

Over the Christmas break recently she had an episode at her nana's house. Fun for me. Yeah.

Then on the drive home from Nana's, The Boy puked in the car. Fun.
That night at home, he puked in his sleep. Fun. Yeah.

New Year's Eve, The Baby puked in his sleep. In our bed.
I'm pretty sure he hadn't done too much partying.
And since then he's had diarrhea and puking every day.
Fun.

Again, in the middle of the night last night I was up starting laundry, bathing him, and cleaning up the mess. Twice.
Fun.

I really thought that by this time all of my kids would be sleeping through the night! And then *I* would be sleeping through the night.
I miss sleep so much!

Ugh.

(Hey, I spared you the pics. I clicked on a blog once and saw a picture of an open poopy diaper. That blog author had pure class, I tell ya. But here I am writing about all the nastiness, so apparently I'm only one step away from her.)

The last few days I've been feeling like "such a mom". And not in a good way. Not in a hot mom kinda way. But in that "Good lord, she sure went downhill after children" kinda way.

I need a(nother) shower, a nap, and some good lipstick to bring me back to the self I once knew. I just want to scream, "I used to be CUTE, dangit!!"

Yummmmmm....

2008-12-16T14:47:00.000-08:00

Okay so it's been forever since I posted here. Oops!

We made these cookies today and they were so good that I decided this recipe is definitely worth sharing.

They don't really have a name, so come up with something creative before you share them with people. Something that sounds really impressive.

INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup shortening
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
3/4 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups rolled oats
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup Heath toffee chips

DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
In a large bowl cream shortening, butter, brown sugar and granulated sugar. Add eggs and mix thoroughly.
Combine the baking soda, salt and flour and stir into creamed mixture
Add oatmeal and chips and stir until well blended.
Drop by teaspoonfuls onto a cookie sheet. Bake for 15 minutes.

You'll end up with about 7 dozen sweet and delicious cookies. You can share a dozen or two with family if you'd like. I like to keep the majority for myself. It keeps my winter layer of blubber nice and thick. I like to be warm.

Bad Baby is back...

2008-10-28T09:31:00.000-07:00

I really thought it was improving. We had quite a few days of him not throwing huge fits, not making messes, and just being really lovely.

And then it ended. Bad Baby is back. yay.

Today he's made a mess with toothpaste, dumped a bottle of BBQ sauce on the floor (oh yeah, he can open the fridge by himself now), poured a yogurt smoothie on my yoga mat which he also spread out on the floor.... Thank you God for having us buy a house with hard wood floors.

It's not even noon yet.

Please tell me this phase will pass soon. Please.

Walk it out...

2008-10-25T14:09:00.000-07:00

I originally found this on Jill's blog and couldn't stop laughing so I had to put it here too.

More not-so-normal family...

2008-10-21T17:29:00.000-07:00

Our day at the pumpkin patch.

(he was in his red stroller and I just couldn't get the pink shade off his face. So he looks a bit lobster-ish.)

More from our picture day...

2008-09-27T18:06:00.000-07:00

I'm cheap and easy.

2008-09-11T16:43:00.001-07:00

And I like it that way.

This is one of my favorite quick go-to meals and I try to keep all the ingredients on hand.

Rubber Burritos

You need -
salsa
rice
refried beans
chili beans
green chilis

Bring a cup of salsa to a boil and add a cup of instant rice, then cover it until the rice is cooked. Mix in the other ingredients and you're done.

That was hard, huh? (actually I usually toss in garlic, cumin, chili powder, taco seasoning, etc. too.)

What I actually love about this is how versatile it is.
If I have corn, I add it in.
Canned tomatoes? Sure, toss them in.
Cooked hamburger or pulled pork? MmmHmmm.
Roll it in tortillas with cheese, guacolome, and sour cream for burritos.
Serve it over shredded lettuce and crushed tortilla chips for a taco salad.
If you have just a small amount of this leftover, you can mix it with melted velveeta and have a dip for chips.

You can stretch this recipe to feed TONS of people if needed. Just keep adding ingredients! Add more beans. Add more rice. Add more veggies. Whatever.

Yes, I shop at WalMart and yes I buy store brands. Like I said, I'm cheap and easy.

Bad Baby....

2008-09-09T10:30:00.000-07:00

Over on my PamperingBeki blog I mentioned in my weekend update that The Baby had gotten into green food coloring among other things.

After he painted the house green he decided to have marshmallows. Because that's what you do after you paint everything green, don't you know?

So far today he's only dumped a can of parmesan cheese, a pot of coffee, and a bottle of sticky baby Tylenol. That's all.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

2008-09-05T08:32:00.000-07:00

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialog with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to
cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

dick CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of crossing?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERn*st HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Chocolate is not always good.

2008-08-07T11:46:00.000-07:00

When it's chocolate milk and The Baby dumps it over your cart full of groceries in the middle of the store - that's not good. It's bad, in fact.

And then when you get to the checkout and have to explain why your items are all dripping and sticky with brown sludge - that's not good either.

But just as the frustrated tears start to fall and The Boy hands you this twist tie heart to cheer you up - that's good.

Today, on The Adventures of a Bad Baby...

2008-07-31T14:42:00.000-07:00

Mom needed to get a package ready for the post office. She stepped into her office for about 5 minutes to box it up and suddenly stopped short when she realized that it had been dead quiet for several minutes.

"Go see what The Baby is doing!" she exclaimed to The Boy.

The Boy returned within seconds saying, "Mom, you need to come see this."

That's never good. Mom goes immediately and finds The Baby sitting on the kitchen counter, naked as always, dumping every spice bottle he can find into a pile. Cinnamon, Cloves, Chives, Greek Seasoning, you name it. It was all there.

Mom manages to clean that up, have a quick cry still wondering why God teases her in this way, then goes to the post office. Upon her return, The Baby tells her that he wants to play in the car through his normal grunts and points.

She agrees, rolls the windows down, takes the keys, then goes to sit on the porch swing and clip her fingernails because Lord knows there's never time for a real manicure. The car is in full view as she frantically clips away. About 4.2 minutes later she goes to get The Baby out and sees that he's covered in black... something. She looks around and realizes that he's found her makeup bag under the seat and has decorated her new car with mascara.

What will our mischevious monkey do tomorrow? Tune in to find out....

I'm about to ...

2008-07-30T11:00:00.001-07:00

rename this blog. Something like "The Adventures of a Bad Baby" sounds appropriate. Ugh.

Yesterday I was baking a cake and had to step out of the kitchen for a minute. He pushed a chair over to the counter and dropped a dozen eggs on the floor. One by one.

Later in the day I found him sitting on the kitchen counter with a sharp knife. And an open bottle of children's Tylenol. (childproof lids mean nothing to him.)

Today I found him on top of the stove. Naked. Playing with antique apothecary jars. And a bread knife. And he'd peed on the stove. That's gonna be fun when I have to turn the stove on again. Thankfully he didn't turn it on and burn himself.

It's not like this child is neglected or unwatched. He's just so busy constantly that I cannot keep up.

God seriously thinks this is funny, I think.

Darwin...

2008-07-28T11:43:00.000-07:00

may have been onto something because I think this boy is part monkey.

He climbs our doorways all the time. We have 10 foot ceilings and he can touch.

I have a confession to make.

2008-07-09T16:09:00.000-07:00

The Baby is bad. Really bad. I try to pretend like he's not, but he really is. Nearly all the time. And it wears me out.

Hey, I'm just keepin' it real, people. I get a lot of comments and emails about how my life looks perfect many times and it's not.

Today he flooded the upstairs toilet. It was so much water it ran down the stairs, down through the first floor, and all the way into the basement. Yeah. Bad.

Then as I was frantically cleaning that he dumped a can of lemonade on the floor in the dining room. Sticky mess. Bad.

As I was mopping up the sticky mess he stripped off all his clothes, including his diaper, then went and pooped on the front porch. Bad.

The child is just bad.

I had a good cry (bawling, snotty, the works), telling God that I really can't do this. I think He thinks differently though.

Then I made a big iced coffee and went out and bought the new Mary EngelBreit Home Companion magazine. Ahhhh, peace finally.

My life is not perfect people. That Baby is bad.

Summer fun...

2008-06-22T17:07:00.000-07:00

Baby Bird

2008-06-19T20:16:00.000-07:00

Pictures of the sweet baby bird in our yard this week.

Fore!!

2008-06-17T11:47:00.000-07:00

Junior Golf has started here and The Boy is absolutely loving it!

He's embarassed of this picture because it was taken before he was told how to grip the club. ;-) He now knows that you don't hold it like a baseball bat.

Anyone else notice that I severely neglect this blog? I started it initially to do the paid posts but those are getting further and fewer between. So now it just sits looking pretty sad most of the time. I think once we're done with the flip house I'll have a few extra minutes to breathe some new life into it again.

Say what?!

2008-06-05T15:17:00.000-07:00

We're in Kansas. There are lots of storms and reports of crazy weather. This was the news report on tv a few minutes ago -
"We have a lot of lightning going on, 50 mile an hour winds, limbs down, golf ball sized hail, a couple of elephants on the loose..." Say what?! Apparently they were spooked by the thunder and lightning and now there are two elephants wandering around Kansas. Haha!

Police

2008-05-25T13:11:00.000-07:00

If you are in the Los Angeles area, and you are in law enforcement, and you are in need of atactical holster, and for some reason you are reading this blog, then surprise because you are in the right place. LAPoliceGear.com is a great site to fill those police type needs.

**This is a sponsored post.**

Asian Noodle Stuff

2008-05-22T11:53:00.000-07:00

Please tell me that I'm not the only mom who's home turns into complete chaos at dinner time.

Fortunately almost all of my recipes are quick and easy and don't require any real measuring...

Boil whole wheat spaghetti noodles.

Then I tell him to get out from under my feet and go play.

I set out these ingredients.

"Ma!" (He calls me Ma.)

I tell him again to go play, then in the last few minutes of the pasta boiling I throw in a bag of frozen broccoli.

"Ma! Ma! Ma!" (now he's broken hearted.)

Oh yeah, those sauces above? Mix them in a measuring cup to equal about 1 cup of liquid. I do 1/4 cup of Italian dressing and eyeball the rest until I have 1 cup. Put it in a small pot and bring it to a simmer. I also throw in some garlic and ginger.

Now he's made a mess of the floor and has moved on to the dog's food and is throwing handfuls at me.

The dog happily comes to clean it up, The Baby is screaming at me again.

I drain the pasta and broccoli (somewhere in there I cooked some chicken too), then toss it all with the sauce.

Finally! I pay attention to the ultra needy ~~turd~~ Baby, make a dish of noodles for the big kids and we can all eat.

It's quick and easy and healthful! You can, of course, adjust as you need. Add pork or sliced steak instead of chicken. Add chopped mushrooms. Add a bag of stir fry veggies instead of broccoli. Whatever.

Dinner time wears me out some days.

Saving dough....

2008-05-19T10:49:00.000-07:00

One of my hobbies is saving money. I'm not "cheap" to the point of being tacky, by any means, but if I can save a dime I get such a rush out of it! That means more money to spend shopping on etsy or to save for Disney.

So here are a few tips.

-When you make juice from frozen concentrate, add an extra can of water. You can't taste the difference.

-Tear dryer sheets in half.

-Use half of the suggested amounts on laundry detergent and dishwasher detergent.

-Do at least one meat free day a week. If you're cooking for a family this will create a noticeable savings!

-Hang your laundry to dry, if you can. If you need to fluff it, just throw it in for a few minutes when it's nearly dry.

-Cut out alcohol and cigarettes.

-Stretch meals with pasta (whole wheat), rice, and potatoes when you can.

-Shop thrift stores in nice areas of town. They'll likely have name brand items for dirt cheap.

-Recycle as much as you can.

-Create meals based on what food items are on sale that week.

What tips do you have for saving your pennies?

Ham_urger.

2008-05-15T09:51:00.000-07:00

I went to this fine establishment the other day to grab a quick dinner for the family. (I know, I know... bad mom. We were working on our flip house and didn't want to go home and cook.)

We got our food, pulled away, I distributed it to everyone. I open my sandwich and reach in to pick it up and it felt SUPER wet and greasy on bottom. Gross! I wiped my fingers off and tried again. Same thing. Then I looked closer because I couldn't believe that suddenly after 31 years, I'd forgotten how to eat a burger. Well, there was no bun!! A big greasy patty and toppings were placed neatly in the box, without bread.

I'm no cooking expert but it seems like a hamburger should consist of two basic components - a patty and a bun. If you're missing one of those two, well it's not a burger.

A few more....

2008-05-08T11:31:00.000-07:00

Like I said it's been crazy busy around here lately.

We are so fortunate to have a program offered in the public schools that is Bible School! I know, crazy, right? It's been around in our town for about 85 years and is run by volunteers. One day a week they go to the classroom and pull out the kids who've parents have signed the permission slip, then take them across the street to a church and do a little Sunday school/bible study thing. It's great! The school provides sack lunch for the kids on those days. For many of the kids, this is the only "church" they get.

At the end of the year they have a graduation ceremony and here is The Girl's graduation the other night.

Graduation, birthday parties, and sleep

2008-05-06T12:22:00.000-07:00

The Boy had his Kindergarten graduation a few nights ago and was so proud!

His two beautiful teachers! Mrs. M on the left had a baby a few weeks ago so Mrs. E on the right has been the sub. They are both fabulous ladies!!

After the ceremony, there were cookies in the cafeteria. If only they'd had a booster chair!

Also over the past few days The Girl had a birthday and turned 8 yrs old!

Yellow and white daisies were a huge hit!

She had a sleepover and the kids all made cards and gift bags with scrapbooking supplies. It was a "scrapbook party" without actual scrapbooks.

The big kids thought it was hilarious to stick balloons to the walls with static electricity. haha!

And believe it or not, Hannah Montana even made an appearance!!

And after such a busy weekend, The Baby couldn't take anymore.

A day at the park....

2008-04-26T12:43:00.000-07:00

It was just gorgeous out!

Dogpile on Dad. Yes, he's really under there!

A lesson in static electricity.

Fearless!

The Boy got grumpy for some reason.

My favorite shot of the day. King of the mountain!

The Magic 30...

2008-04-22T06:25:00.000-07:00

It's time for me to start this again!

I know how hard it is to just get everything done in a day, let alone try to squeeze in excercise! So I've come up with, what I call, The Magic 30. I've done this off and on for years and when I do it consistantly it really makes a difference.

Remember those old basics we had to do in gym class in school? Well they WORK!

During the course of the day, I try to do 30 reps of each of these: jumping jacks, push ups, tricep dips, squats, lunges, crunches, reverse crunches, calf raises, and anything else you can think of. You can squeeze in 30 of these just about any ol' time! While you're brushing your teeth, washing your hands, and waiting for the microwave and a few great times. Just get creative. I really do see a difference if I do The Magic 30 regularly.

I've been slacking a lot lately and it's time to pick it up again.

Sunny Spring!

2008-04-17T08:09:00.000-07:00

Hey, how are ya?

2008-04-16T15:24:00.000-07:00

It was absolutely GORGEOUS here today! Gorgeous, I tell ya. I spent much of the day outside and went for two walks. It was much needed exercise plus it was National Start Walking day or something like that. I took some fun pictures of The Baby too that I'll share later. To be honest, I'm just killing space here because I have to have actual content between paid posts and I have one I'm getting ready to write. ;-) Shhhh!! don't tell!

I will post those baby pics soon though.

D'oh! I had a paid post all written up and posted but when I submitted it to payperpost.com the site hiccuped and so I don't get paid for it after all. Darn.

Hangin' Tough.

2008-04-15T10:09:00.000-07:00

For all you tough gun slinging mamas out there, the next time you are in need of a safariland holster, lapolicegear probably has what you are looking for. Need a flashlight or boots? They have got those too. Tactical pants? Under armour? Yup, they have got you covered. And now you know.

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All about meme...

2008-04-15T09:45:00.000-07:00

The lovely and talented Sarah of woolies tagged me to tell you all about myself. I know you're all crazy excited to read about me, aren't you? ;-)

4 THINGS
...4 JOBS...
waitress
luggage handler for an airline (yes, I got to wear the cool orange vest and park planes, jealous aren't you?)
secretary
nail tech

FAVORITE MOVIES ...
That Thing You Do
Grease
Napolean Dynamite
Fools Rush In

4 PLACES I'VE BEEN..
The Zoo
Disney (both Land and World)
Cancun
My Brother's House

4 PLACES I'VE LIVED...
Sacramento, CA
Cabool, MO (if you've heard of it, you MUST post a comment!)
Springfield, MO
Colorado Springs, CO

4 FAVORITE TELEVISION SHOWS...
How Do I Look?
Flip That House
Boston Legal
Lipstick Jungle

4 FAVORITE RADIO PROGRAMS ...
People still listen to radio programs?!

4 FAVORITE FOODS...
Bread
Potatoes
Saltines (seriously, I LOVE them!)
Cake
(Carb addict, maybe?)

4PLACES I'D RATHER BE....
In a thrift store
In a yard sale
On a beach
In the Mountains

Now because I'm such a rebel, I'm only going to tag one person rather than 4. I'm tagging The Unpink Ladies!

alrighty.

2008-04-14T17:59:00.000-07:00

Hmmm... How is this for talking about something I have absolutely no knowledge or expertise of! If you happen to be in the market for a new pair of 5.11 Tactical pants, LApolicegear.com is the first stop. They also have under armour, footwear and boots, flashlights and plenty of other equipment. See, I'm tougher than you all think I am, huh? haha!

*** This is a sponsored post. ***

A little weekend humor...

2008-04-12T11:40:00.000-07:00

Don't you love Maxine? I need to find some more of these because I think they're so cute. I do have some that are slightly off color but I'm not sure if I want to post those or not. Haha! Maybe some day when I'm feeling spunky I will.

Curious...

2008-04-04T11:31:00.000-07:00

If poop and a bar of soap are floating around in the same bathtub, does the soap eliminate the poop germs from the water?

I'll spare you the pictures.

Screaming...

2008-04-02T11:54:00.000-07:00

Did any of you happen to see Dr. Oz on Oprah yesterday talking about night terrors? I sat and cried while watching it because The Girl has suffered from night terrors since she was a toddler. It's so incredibly frustrating for all of us! She wakes up the entire family, gets violent, screams like a maniac, etc. and has no memory of it in the morning. And of course she's super tired the next day because she hasn't gotten good sleep when she's had terrors. It's a bad cycle. And the more tired she is the more likely she is to have terrors.

Lately there have been a lot of episodes of her puking in her sleep. There is no apparent reason for it, no virus, no other symptoms, and she wakes in the morning feeling fine - just covered in yuck. I've wondered if this is related to the terrors in some way but I don't know. We have a doctor appointment in the morning to start looking into it further.

I have no point to this post, just rambling.

Update: So after a few different tests it was determined that she has severe reflux that's causing the puking. It has nothing to do with the terrors. She's on medication now and so hopefully that issue will be under control. YaY!

The Baby

2008-03-26T12:15:00.000-07:00

is not such a baby anymore! *sniff*

He fell asleep in The Man's lap the other day while talking on his toy cell phone. The picture is blurry because The Man was rocking but I thought it was funny still. Check out the belly!

More food talk..

2008-03-25T13:46:00.000-07:00

Are you ready for the best brownies ever? Are you?

I've been asked for my brownie 'recipe' many times and so I'm sharing the secret with you. Make your favorite boxed brownie mix. Oh Lawdy, no!! I know, I know - a crime, huh? But really, they're sooooo good! So you mix it up just like the box tells you to and pop it in the oven but WAIT! You want to set your timer for 10 minutes less than the box says!! Trust me here. Now when it finally beeps, take your brownies out and crumble your favorite candy bar on top. Now pop it back in for 5 minutes. Then pull it out, let it cool a bit (or not) and dive in!

For the sake of blogging (and only for blogging of course because I would never consume this many calories otherwise... ahem) I used a Butterfinger bar or two. And don't ask how that piece got taken out of the corner. It's a mystery.

Smack yo mama pork chili.

2008-03-23T17:23:00.000-07:00

Pork makes me happy. Almost as happy as caffeine and dark chocolate. I do love me some pork. So obviously pork chili is a staple around here.

Here's the deal. Cook a pork roast. It can be a super cheap cut, just throw it in the crockpot and let it cook all day long. Now you're gonna have a LOT of pork so pull some of it aside for BBQ Pork sandwiches or freeze it for Pork Fried Rice or something. You're creative. Just get rid of some of it because you don't need all of it for the chili.

Now take these -

It's just a large can of tomatoes and a bottle of green salsa, and dump them into a large pot. If you haven't tried green salsa you must. It's insanely good to use in soups and such. (I never say "and such" in person but somehow typing it makes it okay.) Add in that pork you've been drooling over as well as some cumin, garlic, and onion. Heavy on the garlic and cumin. Let this simmer until the pork is falling apart, then put two forks into the pot and shred it some more to help it along. Meanwhile I like to make some rice.

When your pork is sufficiently shredded and everything in the pot looks happy, go ahead and dish up your rice. Then scoop this deliciousness over the rice and top it with a dallop of sour cream. (I'll never be a professional Daisy dalloper but that's okay with me. Really it is.)

Ohhh mama. Holy. Sweet. Goodness. This is so good it'll make you want to smack your mama! But don't really. She brought you into this world and was probably pretty good to you during your childhood. Just smack the table if you must smack something.

I have a tortilla ready to sop up the remainder. But you could serve this rolled inside the tortillas with cheese for a yummy messy burrito if you wanted. Or use a slotted spoon and serve it over salad and crushed tortilla chips for a shredded pork taco salad. Or just stand next to the stove and eat it all straight out of the pot. Whatever.

A family of umpies...

2008-03-19T09:58:00.000-07:00

Oy what a time it's been around here lately. I'll spare you the gruesome details but we all have had the umpies including strep throat, eye infection, ear infections, fevers, and lots of icky things I won't go into.

The Kids all seem to be better now, The Man is good and I'm on the tail end of my umpies so I'm hoping to be back in full swing soon. We haven't touched our flip house in over a week and that's not good. We're usually not a sickly bunch but this has been the worst winter we've ever had.

Dying eggs.

2008-03-17T10:40:00.000-07:00

A perfectly good dinner...

2008-03-15T20:36:00.000-07:00

Do you remember these from when you were a kid? The egg in a hole. I think some people call them popeyes.

The instructions are complicated so follow carefully.

Take a slice of bread and tear a hole in the center.
Butter both sides because you're going to be frying it like a grilled cheese sandwich.
Drop it into a hot skillet and crack an egg into that beautiful hole.
Flip it over when you're ready.
Salt, pepper and you're done. YUM-O! Serve with a fruit smoothie and you'll have perfectly happy kids and a surprisingly easy and nutritious meal. Well done mom.

By golly, I think I did it!

2008-03-10T12:14:00.000-07:00

I've had this glorious new Canon Rebel for a while now (that I still haven't paid for *cough*... that's a different story) and I finally figured out how to get the dadgum pictures out of it! Yay! Tech savvy, I'm not. So I played around with it yesterday and here are my shots. Grab a snack because there are a lot of them.

The Baby

Yeah, he's channeling Elvis. And yes the little ghetto child went without pants all day. What?

"Why did no one ever tell me what mud tastes like and spare me this moment?"

"Okay, not really so bad after all."

The Boy

Stitch. Hey snaggletooth, what's up?

Practicing with the action feature on the camera. And yeah, that's a dish brush the dog is playing fetch with. Remember, we're a bit ghetto?

It's almost time for me to turn into a seasonal Golf Widow again.

Creeping up there...

2008-03-08T12:04:00.000-08:00

So last weekend was my birthday. I'm officially well into my thirties now! It didn't really have an impact on me one way or another to be honest. It did turn out to be a really great day though with perfectly behaved children and a fabulous nap. I couldn't have asked for more!

Oh so true!!

2008-03-04T18:50:00.000-08:00

I've got the umpies.

2008-02-24T14:11:00.001-08:00

A bad case of them too.

I've been in bed sick for almost 3 solid days now and I have to admit that I'm looking pretty rough. But The Man came to me earlier and told me I have the umpies! As in the dumpies and frumpies. Apparently he didn't approve of my nappy hair, bad sick breath and 3 sizes too large sweatshirt. Hmph.

So I'm taking my umpie self to curl up on the couch and watch the Academy Awards and imagine I look like some Hollywood star! :)

Ha! Umpies-B-Gone.

To warm you....

2008-02-21T10:40:00.000-08:00

on a chilly day. Here is a super easy recipe for basic muffins. The best part is that you add in the flavors you want.

INGREDIENTS
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup white sugar
1/3 cup brown sugar
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup milk
1 egg
1/3 cup butter, melted (I substitue half applesauce here to keep calories down)
1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries or chopped apples or chocolate chips or skip the fruit and use a dash of cinnamon or chopped peaches... you get the idea here.

DIRECTIONS
In a large bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Add milk, egg, and butter; mix until ingredients are moistened, do not overbeat. Stir in fresh fruit. Spoon batter into twelve greased muffin cups.
Bake at 400 degrees F (205 degrees C) for about 20 to 25 minutes, or until tops spring back when lightly touched. Serve warm.

Irony

2008-02-20T14:48:00.000-08:00

Well I was going to post today and annouce that I'm once again motivated to lose some weight. I don't have a lot to lose fortunately, but 10-15 lbs. would do wonders for me. I joined a fitness program which I'll blog about later and I'm ready to kick the lazies and get fit(ter).

And then the irony comes. The Man walked in from work with several boxes of Girl Scout cookies! Aargh! I never buy them because I just know I'll be tempted. But he bought some from someone at work and they arrived today. Oy. I guess I'll just have to work out harder because I'm sure as heck not gonna let good cookies go to waste!

Rock on!

2008-02-12T07:43:00.000-08:00

with your itty bitty kid self. I think this is so cute and I love the little rockers in it.

Free!

2008-02-08T12:59:00.000-08:00

If you have a Walgreens near you, this is a great deal.

Just for today(Thurs 2/7), Friday(2/8) and Saturday(2/9) (ONLY!)you can order the family pack - which is 1 8x10, 2 5x7s and 4 wallets for FREE at Walgreens on -line. You can only pick one pose. . The code to enter is VALENTINE.

Just upload your picture, select the family pack, enter the code and it's done! Then you can pick them up at your nearest Walgreens store.

Where oh where

2008-02-07T13:46:00.000-08:00

has my creativity gone? There are times when I'm just bursting at the seams with creativity and have so many ideas in my little noggin that I can't get them all created quickly enough to make room for more ideas to enter. Now is just about the opposite of that. I'm searching every last corner of my head for something fabulous to make and nothing is being found. Why is that?

On a completely different note, this is gross.

It's Diet Cherry Chocolate Dr. Pepper and it's not good. The Man was very kind when I sent him to the store to help me with my chocolate craving but he brought this home and it's just not good. Fortunately for me he also got some Dove dark chocolates. haha! But I'll go ahead and give you the head's up to save your money on this drink. Ick.

Blah...

2008-02-05T12:00:00.000-08:00

Hmm, well the goal was not to make this a depressing blog but somehow I keep heading that direction...

Even large doses of caffeine are not picking me up today.

I had to cancel my walking date with my girlfriend because of the weather.

It's gray and wet outside and we're expecting up to 12 inches of snow later. I can only hope that it's a pretty snow!

The toilet backed up today. (great blog you're reading here, isn't it?! haha!)

The Baby is running a fever and is letting his inner monster show.

Blah.

I think I need to do some online retail therapy. That always cheers me up. Look out ebay and etsy because mama's coming and there's money in her paypal account!

Come on Spring!!

2008-02-02T13:40:00.000-08:00

This is the time of year for Spring fever and boy is it ever kicking in for me!

I'm tired of the snow. I'm tired of bare trees. I'm tired of seeing my breath when I go outside. I'm tired of brown grass and gray skies.

Bring on the color! I'm just so anxious for flowers and new growth I can hardly stand it.

Pure Glamour...

2008-01-28T13:24:00.000-08:00

We're inching up on 3:00 and I have to go pick up The Boy and The Girl from school, but The Baby is still napping. So I run and wake him up to find that his diaper has leaked and he's soaked. I quickly grab a new outfit and diaper and head to the couch to do a quick change. While he's on my hip he's leaking through my own jeans and shirt. Lovely. I reach down to move a pillow from the couch and my fingers sink into something warm and wet. Uh oh.

I look down and it's dog puke! Ack!! The dog puked, then covered it with a throw pillow. Great. I plop the baby on the floor, tell him to stay put, yell at the dog to get outside, while I'm gagging and running to the kitchen to wash my hands in hot soapy water. As I'm washing my hands, The Baby comes walking toward me licking his fingers. Oh no he didn't!!! Oh yes, he did. He touched the dog puke and then licked it. Meanwhile the big kids are still waiting at school and the baby is still soaked.

Acckkkk!! Don't you wish your life were as glamourous as mine? Jealous, aren't you?

The culprit.

The Great Destash of '08....

2008-01-23T13:50:00.000-08:00

One of my goals for the new year is to get more organized. (I know, don't we all?)

I've been just tackling small projects at a time and I have to tell ya, it feels GREAT!

One day I cleared out the bathroom medicine cabinets. (In 10 years of marriage The Man has not worn Brut33 cologne, but I found 2 bottles in there. Gross!)

One day it was The Baby's dresser. Whew! That was a big job but it felt soooo great to get it done. Now the only things in there are items that actually *fit* him. What a strange concept, huh?

One day I cleared out all of my magazines. You know those ones you tell yourself you're saving to go through them again, but in reality you'll never find the time? Yeah, mine are now GONE! YAY!! Straight to the recycling bin with those bad boys.

These little bits at a time feel so good and are doing so much for my psyche. I just feel happier about it all!

Hurry!

2008-01-22T07:10:00.000-08:00

Instant gratification takes too long.

That's my motto.

All Paris... All the time...

2008-01-19T13:32:00.001-08:00

The Girl is not known to have a gentle personality. Really, she isn't. And since she was tiny she's been the type to get an idea in her head and then eat, sleep, and dream about it. The obsession with the color purple lasted for 4 years. The Dora obession lasted 3 years. And I won't even get into the Mike Wzowski phase where she swore that was her own name.

Well now it's Paris. Anything to do with Paris, France, poodles, black and white, or the Eiffel tower sends her into a tizzy. So being the uber nice mom that I am, I'm redecorating her room in an all Parisian theme. We're having so much fun shopping for things!

P. U.

2008-01-18T11:16:00.000-08:00

Okay so I ordered something from Sephora the other day and while checking out they gave me the option to pick three free samples. One of the items I chose had a really eye catching package and I was just sure I'd love it. It's a perfume called Flowers By Kenzo.

Well it arrived today, I spritzed myself with it and P.U. Yuck!! It smells nothing like I thought it would based on the package! How could they have gotten their image so wrong?

Ahhhh....

2008-01-17T06:49:00.000-08:00

Dreaming of a day that looks like this.

The wind chill outside right now is 1 degree. Yeah. 1. Brrrrr....

There's not much better...

2008-01-16T14:28:00.000-08:00

Than a big bowl of popcorn topped with Cavender's Greek Seasoning and Parmesan cheese. Trust me! Yum-O!

Snow!!!

2008-01-16T10:19:00.001-08:00

Oy, just when I had my hopes up for Spring it's snowing today. Yes, I know that's normal for January but I was just hoping that maybe this year would somehow be different. ;-)

I've already started Spring Cleaning and it feels great!

Now I need a splash of color to brighten up my day. These gray sweats I'm wearing just aren't doing the trick...

Annnnd we're off!

2008-01-15T12:59:00.003-08:00

Off to a new blog. This one will be mostly for miscellaneous chatter and my pay per post posts. Whew, that was a mouthful!