Dancing machine.

He was standing on the sofa table behind the couch, dancing his little heart out with The Backyardigans. TOO CUTE!

The post I swore I'd never write.

I really find some blog posts disgusting and inappropriate for the masses to read.

But I'm pretty sure only one or two people read this blog and I just need to let it out. Errr, that might be the wrong choice of words.

See, my kids seem to have problems keeping things in. Things that should stay inside. Literally, their bodies.

The Girl has severe reflux and tends to puke in her sleep. All over everything.
Which results in me getting up at 4 am to wash sheets, mop floors, give her a shower, etc.

Over the Christmas break recently she had an episode at her nana's house. Fun for me. Yeah.

Then on the drive home from Nana's, The Boy puked in the car. Fun.
That night at home, he puked in his sleep. Fun. Yeah.

New Year's Eve, The Baby puked in his sleep. In our bed.
I'm pretty sure he hadn't done too much partying.
And since then he's had diarrhea and puking every day.
Fun.

Again, in the middle of the night last night I was up starting laundry, bathing him, and cleaning up the mess. Twice.
Fun.

I really thought that by this time all of my kids would be sleeping through the night! And then *I* would be sleeping through the night.
I miss sleep so much!

Ugh.

(Hey, I spared you the pics. I clicked on a blog once and saw a picture of an open poopy diaper. That blog author had pure class, I tell ya. But here I am writing about all the nastiness, so apparently I'm only one step away from her.)

The last few days I've been feeling like "such a mom". And not in a good way. Not in a hot mom kinda way. But in that "Good lord, she sure went downhill after children" kinda way.

I need a(nother) shower, a nap, and some good lipstick to bring me back to the self I once knew. I just want to scream, "I used to be CUTE, dangit!!"

Bad Baby is back...

I really thought it was improving. We had quite a few days of him not throwing huge fits, not making messes, and just being really lovely.

And then it ended. Bad Baby is back. yay.

Today he's made a mess with toothpaste, dumped a bottle of BBQ sauce on the floor (oh yeah, he can open the fridge by himself now), poured a yogurt smoothie on my yoga mat which he also spread out on the floor.... Thank you God for having us buy a house with hard wood floors.

It's not even noon yet.


Please tell me this phase will pass soon. Please.

Walk it out...

I originally found this on Jill's blog and couldn't stop laughing so I had to put it here too.

Bad Baby....

Over on my PamperingBeki blog I mentioned in my weekend update that The Baby had gotten into green food coloring among other things.

After he painted the house green he decided to have marshmallows. Because that's what you do after you paint everything green, don't you know?





So far today he's only dumped a can of parmesan cheese, a pot of coffee, and a bottle of sticky baby Tylenol. That's all.

Chocolate is not always good.

When it's chocolate milk and The Baby dumps it over your cart full of groceries in the middle of the store - that's not good. It's bad, in fact.

And then when you get to the checkout and have to explain why your items are all dripping and sticky with brown sludge - that's not good either.

But just as the frustrated tears start to fall and The Boy hands you this twist tie heart to cheer you up - that's good.

Today, on The Adventures of a Bad Baby...

Mom needed to get a package ready for the post office. She stepped into her office for about 5 minutes to box it up and suddenly stopped short when she realized that it had been dead quiet for several minutes.

"Go see what The Baby is doing!" she exclaimed to The Boy.

The Boy returned within seconds saying, "Mom, you need to come see this."

That's never good. Mom goes immediately and finds The Baby sitting on the kitchen counter, naked as always, dumping every spice bottle he can find into a pile. Cinnamon, Cloves, Chives, Greek Seasoning, you name it. It was all there.

Mom manages to clean that up, have a quick cry still wondering why God teases her in this way, then goes to the post office. Upon her return, The Baby tells her that he wants to play in the car through his normal grunts and points.

She agrees, rolls the windows down, takes the keys, then goes to sit on the porch swing and clip her fingernails because Lord knows there's never time for a real manicure. The car is in full view as she frantically clips away. About 4.2 minutes later she goes to get The Baby out and sees that he's covered in black... something. She looks around and realizes that he's found her makeup bag under the seat and has decorated her new car with mascara.



What will our mischevious monkey do tomorrow? Tune in to find out....

I'm about to ...

rename this blog. Something like "The Adventures of a Bad Baby" sounds appropriate. Ugh.

Yesterday I was baking a cake and had to step out of the kitchen for a minute. He pushed a chair over to the counter and dropped a dozen eggs on the floor. One by one.

Later in the day I found him sitting on the kitchen counter with a sharp knife. And an open bottle of children's Tylenol. (childproof lids mean nothing to him.)



Today I found him on top of the stove. Naked. Playing with antique apothecary jars. And a bread knife. And he'd peed on the stove. That's gonna be fun when I have to turn the stove on again. Thankfully he didn't turn it on and burn himself.

It's not like this child is neglected or unwatched. He's just so busy constantly that I cannot keep up.

God seriously thinks this is funny, I think.

I have a confession to make.

The Baby is bad. Really bad. I try to pretend like he's not, but he really is. Nearly all the time. And it wears me out.

Hey, I'm just keepin' it real, people. I get a lot of comments and emails about how my life looks perfect many times and it's not.

Today he flooded the upstairs toilet. It was so much water it ran down the stairs, down through the first floor, and all the way into the basement. Yeah. Bad.

Then as I was frantically cleaning that he dumped a can of lemonade on the floor in the dining room. Sticky mess. Bad.



As I was mopping up the sticky mess he stripped off all his clothes, including his diaper, then went and pooped on the front porch. Bad.

The child is just bad.

I had a good cry (bawling, snotty, the works), telling God that I really can't do this. I think He thinks differently though.

Then I made a big iced coffee and went out and bought the new Mary EngelBreit Home Companion magazine. Ahhhh, peace finally.

My life is not perfect people. That Baby is bad.

Summer fun...

Fore!!

Junior Golf has started here and The Boy is absolutely loving it!


He's embarassed of this picture because it was taken before he was told how to grip the club. ;-) He now knows that you don't hold it like a baseball bat.


Anyone else notice that I severely neglect this blog? I started it initially to do the paid posts but those are getting further and fewer between. So now it just sits looking pretty sad most of the time. I think once we're done with the flip house I'll have a few extra minutes to breathe some new life into it again.

Say what?!

We're in Kansas. There are lots of storms and reports of crazy weather. This was the news report on tv a few minutes ago -
"We have a lot of lightning going on, 50 mile an hour winds, limbs down, golf ball sized hail, a couple of elephants on the loose..." Say what?! Apparently they were spooked by the thunder and lightning and now there are two elephants wandering around Kansas. Haha!

Saving dough....

One of my hobbies is saving money. I'm not "cheap" to the point of being tacky, by any means, but if I can save a dime I get such a rush out of it! That means more money to spend shopping on etsy or to save for Disney.

So here are a few tips.

-When you make juice from frozen concentrate, add an extra can of water. You can't taste the difference.

-Tear dryer sheets in half.

-Use half of the suggested amounts on laundry detergent and dishwasher detergent.

-Do at least one meat free day a week. If you're cooking for a family this will create a noticeable savings!

-Hang your laundry to dry, if you can. If you need to fluff it, just throw it in for a few minutes when it's nearly dry.

-Cut out alcohol and cigarettes.

-Stretch meals with pasta (whole wheat), rice, and potatoes when you can.

-Shop thrift stores in nice areas of town. They'll likely have name brand items for dirt cheap.

-Recycle as much as you can.

-Create meals based on what food items are on sale that week.

What tips do you have for saving your pennies?

Ham_urger.

I went to this fine establishment the other day to grab a quick dinner for the family. (I know, I know... bad mom. We were working on our flip house and didn't want to go home and cook.)


We got our food, pulled away, I distributed it to everyone. I open my sandwich and reach in to pick it up and it felt SUPER wet and greasy on bottom. Gross! I wiped my fingers off and tried again. Same thing. Then I looked closer because I couldn't believe that suddenly after 31 years, I'd forgotten how to eat a burger. Well, there was no bun!! A big greasy patty and toppings were placed neatly in the box, without bread.

I'm no cooking expert but it seems like a hamburger should consist of two basic components - a patty and a bun. If you're missing one of those two, well it's not a burger.

Graduation, birthday parties, and sleep

The Boy had his Kindergarten graduation a few nights ago and was so proud!





His two beautiful teachers! Mrs. M on the left had a baby a few weeks ago so Mrs. E on the right has been the sub. They are both fabulous ladies!!


After the ceremony, there were cookies in the cafeteria. If only they'd had a booster chair!


Also over the past few days The Girl had a birthday and turned 8 yrs old!


Yellow and white daisies were a huge hit!


She had a sleepover and the kids all made cards and gift bags with scrapbooking supplies. It was a "scrapbook party" without actual scrapbooks.




The big kids thought it was hilarious to stick balloons to the walls with static electricity. haha!


And believe it or not, Hannah Montana even made an appearance!!


And after such a busy weekend, The Baby couldn't take anymore.

A day at the park....

It was just gorgeous out!

Dogpile on Dad. Yes, he's really under there!




A lesson in static electricity.


Fearless!






The Boy got grumpy for some reason.








My favorite shot of the day. King of the mountain!

Sunny Spring!