Bad Baby is back...

I really thought it was improving. We had quite a few days of him not throwing huge fits, not making messes, and just being really lovely.

And then it ended. Bad Baby is back. yay.

Today he's made a mess with toothpaste, dumped a bottle of BBQ sauce on the floor (oh yeah, he can open the fridge by himself now), poured a yogurt smoothie on my yoga mat which he also spread out on the floor.... Thank you God for having us buy a house with hard wood floors.

It's not even noon yet.


Please tell me this phase will pass soon. Please.

Walk it out...

I originally found this on Jill's blog and couldn't stop laughing so I had to put it here too.

More not-so-normal family...

Our day at the pumpkin patch.


















(he was in his red stroller and I just couldn't get the pink shade off his face. So he looks a bit lobster-ish.)

More from our picture day...

I'm cheap and easy.

And I like it that way.

This is one of my favorite quick go-to meals and I try to keep all the ingredients on hand.

Rubber Burritos


You need -
salsa
rice
refried beans
chili beans
green chilis

Bring a cup of salsa to a boil and add a cup of instant rice, then cover it until the rice is cooked. Mix in the other ingredients and you're done.

That was hard, huh? (actually I usually toss in garlic, cumin, chili powder, taco seasoning, etc. too.)

What I actually love about this is how versatile it is.
If I have corn, I add it in.
Canned tomatoes? Sure, toss them in.
Cooked hamburger or pulled pork? MmmHmmm.
Roll it in tortillas with cheese, guacolome, and sour cream for burritos.
Serve it over shredded lettuce and crushed tortilla chips for a taco salad.
If you have just a small amount of this leftover, you can mix it with melted velveeta and have a dip for chips.

You can stretch this recipe to feed TONS of people if needed. Just keep adding ingredients! Add more beans. Add more rice. Add more veggies. Whatever.

Yes, I shop at WalMart and yes I buy store brands. Like I said, I'm cheap and easy.

Bad Baby....

Over on my PamperingBeki blog I mentioned in my weekend update that The Baby had gotten into green food coloring among other things.

After he painted the house green he decided to have marshmallows. Because that's what you do after you paint everything green, don't you know?





So far today he's only dumped a can of parmesan cheese, a pot of coffee, and a bottle of sticky baby Tylenol. That's all.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialog with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to
cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

dick CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of crossing?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERn*st HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Chocolate is not always good.

When it's chocolate milk and The Baby dumps it over your cart full of groceries in the middle of the store - that's not good. It's bad, in fact.

And then when you get to the checkout and have to explain why your items are all dripping and sticky with brown sludge - that's not good either.

But just as the frustrated tears start to fall and The Boy hands you this twist tie heart to cheer you up - that's good.

Today, on The Adventures of a Bad Baby...

Mom needed to get a package ready for the post office. She stepped into her office for about 5 minutes to box it up and suddenly stopped short when she realized that it had been dead quiet for several minutes.

"Go see what The Baby is doing!" she exclaimed to The Boy.

The Boy returned within seconds saying, "Mom, you need to come see this."

That's never good. Mom goes immediately and finds The Baby sitting on the kitchen counter, naked as always, dumping every spice bottle he can find into a pile. Cinnamon, Cloves, Chives, Greek Seasoning, you name it. It was all there.

Mom manages to clean that up, have a quick cry still wondering why God teases her in this way, then goes to the post office. Upon her return, The Baby tells her that he wants to play in the car through his normal grunts and points.

She agrees, rolls the windows down, takes the keys, then goes to sit on the porch swing and clip her fingernails because Lord knows there's never time for a real manicure. The car is in full view as she frantically clips away. About 4.2 minutes later she goes to get The Baby out and sees that he's covered in black... something. She looks around and realizes that he's found her makeup bag under the seat and has decorated her new car with mascara.



What will our mischevious monkey do tomorrow? Tune in to find out....

I'm about to ...

rename this blog. Something like "The Adventures of a Bad Baby" sounds appropriate. Ugh.

Yesterday I was baking a cake and had to step out of the kitchen for a minute. He pushed a chair over to the counter and dropped a dozen eggs on the floor. One by one.

Later in the day I found him sitting on the kitchen counter with a sharp knife. And an open bottle of children's Tylenol. (childproof lids mean nothing to him.)



Today I found him on top of the stove. Naked. Playing with antique apothecary jars. And a bread knife. And he'd peed on the stove. That's gonna be fun when I have to turn the stove on again. Thankfully he didn't turn it on and burn himself.

It's not like this child is neglected or unwatched. He's just so busy constantly that I cannot keep up.

God seriously thinks this is funny, I think.